10 Hot Tips for Not Being Outed as a Sexual Predator

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In this trying time, it seems everyone is being outed as a sexual predator. Let this 10-step guide help you to avoid ruining your career and image.

  1. Don’t be a sexual predator. Unfortunately, society is terrible and has created a climate where pretty much everyone is either a sexual predator or a defender of predatory behavior. Societal norms, pornography, and romantic movies have normalized creepy-ass behavior, so I guess this tip is apparently not as easy as it sounds. Let’s break it down.

  2. Don’t Prey on Less Powerful People. If you have more power than someone, understand that may be a factor in consent. For instance, if you are their boss or higher-up, if you have more social standing, or if you are much older in age than your partner, you might be a creep. Be aware of your influence and don’t use it to pressure other people into sexual relationships with you.

  3. Get Enthusiastic Consent! Is it completely and entirely obvious that your partner wants to do whatever you guys are about to do? No? DON’T DO IT. Find something else to do. Let the person go home if that’s what they want.

  4. Don’t Be Violent Because You’re Turned On. Horniness is no excuse to be aggressive or violent. Period.

  5. Don’t Be a Jerk Because You’re Turned On. Your horniness is never an excuse to pressure someone to do something they don’t want to do. If the other person hasn’t consented and you’re finding it difficult to accept that, remove yourself from the situation and figure yourself out. Cool down until you can treat other people with respect.

  6. Check in With Body Language. Is your partner silent? Have they closed their eyes with a wincing facial expression? Are they closed off to you? Have they removed your hands from their body? Tried to move away from you when you’ve approached them? Nervously looked around like they are trying to escape? STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND CHECK IN ON THEM.

  7. Allow Consent to be Revoked. Just because your partner said yes to one thing, doesn’t mean they meant yes to everything. Even if you got enthusiastic consent at one point, there’s a chance your partner will change their mind. People are allowed to change their minds at any time about any situation! It’s up to you to create a climate of safety for your partner to do so. This means no getting angry, no violence, no pressuring, just kindness and care for their well being.

  8. Navigate Boundaries Respectfully. So you and your partner were going to have sex, but they revoked their consent and you’re feeling a lot of negative emotions like frustration and desire all mixed into one big ball - what can you do? Check in on your partner, find out, without manipulating them, why they revoked their consent. Assure them that it’s okay that they feel that way. Then you can talk about how you feel. There’s a chance they are enthusiastically comfortable with other sexual acts, just not the particular one you were about to do. This is a good time to find out. If they don’t enthusiastically consent to any sexual act, put on your clothes and splash cold water on your face. You’ll be okay.

  9. Care About Your Partner’s Pleasure as Well as Your Own. Great sex means everyone is comfortable and pleasured. Pro-tip- just because you have orgasmed doesn’t mean the sex is automatically over.

  10. Realize Your Partner is a Human Being. Maybe you’re just having a one-night stand with someone you met on Tinder. You know you’ll never see them again and you don’t care to get to know them. Guess what, your partner is still a human being deserving of respect! No matter what the nature of your relationship, recognize that every person you have sex with is a complex, multi-faceted, unique, incredible, light-filled, consciousness deserving of safety and respect.

That’s it! See, it’s easy to not be a sexual predator. Now you can have great sex where everyone is safe, respected, and pleasured.

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