Finding my Strength as a Sex Worker
2020 was a year of uncertainty for the world at large, but it also was a time that I was able to work on a lot of healing I had been trying to avoid. It was also the year that I finally allowed myself to have the courage to start something that I had been wanting to do for many years but never allowed myself to think it was possible, and that was the desire to enter the world of adult entertainment. And in March of last year I introduced myself to the world as
To understand where the drive to become a sex worker came from we have to go back to the dark past. I am a sexual assault survivor and for many years I would not let anyone, including partners, touch me for fear of being harmed by them as well. When I came out as a trans woman in 2016 I was still holding onto those fears. Then, I discovered two sites that were run by these very powerful women who celebrated the sexuality of women and used it to empower themselves. I was so entranced by these people, and I knew in that moment that I wanted to reach a point where I could be like them.
Over the next few years there was a lot of work done. Between hormone replacement therapy, light body work, many forms of eastern medicine, opening up myself to partners, and a sprinkling of magic, I began to heal. Over those years there was both forwards and backwards
movement, love and heartbreak, triumphs and losses, but by the time 2020 rolled around I felt it was time to embark into the world I had been wanting to enter for so many years.
As any content creator will tell you the beginning can be maddening. I was working daily on social media trying to build up a viewership, working on new ideas for videos and photo sets, all while still working on balancing my life with my partners, and hoping to not be driven
insane by my toxic job in a call center for a high end fashion company. But then the lock down hit and I was able to focus more and more energy into my content and my numbers grew faster and faster. To see the progress I was making brought me so much joy. I was not making money that would allow me to survive solely from my work, but it felt amazing to see the forward movement I was making. But as we all know change is always right around the corner.
Near the end of the summer I went through the most painful breakup that I have ever experienced, and it was at that time that I needed to find something else, apart from my work, that brought me joy. I had known about UNICULT for a year or two at that point and had always been a silent observer. I decided to go to Cam Church on a regular basis and if it resonated with me then I would join. After hearing more and more words from Unicole and the members of UNICULT I made the decision that I needed to join this powerful group of people, but there would be another bump in the road.
While on a trip to visit my long term partner (where she taught me how to laugh and smile again after all the heartbreak) I had several grand mal seizures. For the next few weeks I was in and out of several hospitals. No one was giving me any useful information and I feared my life as well as career was over before it had the chance to fully begin. Thankfully in that time I received my UNICULT application in the mail and tried to get it back as soon as I could, while repeating “I will be able to continue what brings me joy and I will reach a new normal.”
In the short time that I have been in this beautiful community my mental health has improved more than I could possibly say. I have learned many skills and lessons that have made me a stronger person. I no longer live in fear of “what if someone finds out?” I have the strength now to live in my reality and say this is me. My art has improved so much in this time here as well, and the fact that it is getting more views then my older pieces has not escaped my notice. Without UNICULT I would not have put in the time to learn meditation, educated myself in crystal healing, or studied magic more in depth, just to name a few.
I think the question I have been asked most by people who know I am a sex worker and learn of my spirituality is, “did you join because you are guilty about your career?” It makes me laugh because honestly I have never felt more empowered in my life. I am proud that I can bare myself in front of the whole world and authentically be true to who I am. My art and my spirituality are two pillars of my soul and one makes the other stronger in a never ending loop. My hope is that in the future I can work to educate people on what sex work is, dispel misinformation and bring light to what it really is, a job just like any other one.
Both these major changes came into my life in during the chaos that was 2020, and I am glad I was there to take on both. I leave you with a mantra that has been a part of my entire life: "You be you and shine."
XOXO, Yvie SinClair